I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm too high and old for this...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
