i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
