last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
