I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
