why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
a search helicopter?!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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