Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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