Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
