Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Panties = found
Randomize
