It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
