Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
