why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
