I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
