"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
