Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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