my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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