I think i sorta joined a cult last night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
