Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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