ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
