I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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