we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
