p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
