I got chris browned last night
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
