Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
