last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
