My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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