fuck your aforementioned shoe
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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