Welp...herpes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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