Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
