You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drake has all the answers
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
