I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
