I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
