It's like God shit irony all over that family
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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