I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
