the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize