There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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