The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
