i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
