i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
now i know why i became what i already was.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
