Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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