her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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