I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
