I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
