yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize