so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
