dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
