Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
