i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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