tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my shit smells like andre
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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