And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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