The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
