how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
