? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
