so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
