I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
