So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
