Just fell off a train. Bad.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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