We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
