im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
